messyah

hi there, i'm new here and likely won't post much.

the tides of history elbow out of the way
the grim tides of multitudes rise.
pillars cannot stand against the weight of exponential change
the only freedoms left will be the axes of the universe.

the decade of wireless transferance has begun

to be followed by the hell of oil,
our next great prophesied doom that will fire the treadmills
over the skulls of the weak
grinding the poor into a bridge to the future

warlock naturetech will make [angels|devils] of us all

tread the path of the white anti-satan

move your body and still your mind

pray for the techno-rapture
or any kind rapture at all

pray for the techno-rapture and dance to the drums

current calculations condemn us to a deadening echo
of our shout into forever, so let's make it LOUD.

dance to the drums

there is love in the world (reinforced)

i have an emotional engine which is fairly well tuned to judge others feelings, but right behavior involves recovering well from mistakes due to misintention and inattention and lack of knowledge.

right behavior requires a constant practice of "assumption of good intention" as well as a *deep* introspection on how someone's history could have lead them to their bad behavior or outcomes. (reinforced)

i can love people in a brotherly way (reinforced)

i will strive to be open to new friendships, and seek them out.

i will strive to reinforce existing relationships that bring me joy and seek without pressure to repair those that seem fearful

i want to understand that "picking on" people is a form of potential violence that is more harmful than helpful, even when wielded well. there are more authentic ways to relate to people. i want to understand that i both enjoy picking on people, and think that there are people in the world who can only relate to people who can both give and receive a solid burn. i seek to reconcile the contradiction in these 2 positions, but recognize that i will really continue to let my emotion engine drive the day to day, and practice centering myself so that my subconscious and emotion-engine can spend time wooling with my logic to drive right behaviour.

being a good human means spending a lot of time trying to reconcile the emotional and logical sides. spock was easily the most human character of the show, although the least able to openly express the workings of his emotional engine.

we really are human. (thank you, julie)
loving, hurting, pissing, shitting, burping, farting, orgasms, arousal, jealousy, rage, annoyance, you name it. we all do it. we do it behind closed doors, and we think that no one else has any right or necessity to see it or hear it, but the more we recognize that humans are gross, the easier it is to realize just how beautiful they are.

we all bear scars, and most of them aren't even remotely close to the surface. i know a few people who have cut themselves at some point, and after this weekend, i finally realized that they were strong enough to bear their scars where the world can see that they have hurt. many people have no idea what despair i've seen, but many people understand that you can be poor as dirt or well-trained to create wealth, and still not have quite the right emotional equipment for enduring peace and joy.

there is love in the world (reinforced tenfold)

under circuitry sky and digital rain
i found my true love once again
over and over listnin to her laugh
a black and white copy of an old photograph

it's time for you to let me go
i'm not real there's no way to know
who i was when i was alive
you've got to accept that i didn't survive

over and over i'll see her smile
never let her go while i'm still alive
over and over i'll hear her laugh
flip the switch and bring her back

it's time for you to put me away
i'm not real i don't know what to say
reliving lines you thought I said
isn't the way to bring back the dead

if you can live in the moment
and desire nothing
everything you want
will come to you

head shot head shot reaching red eyes
everyone selfish as the dead arise
as the dead arise
reaching red eyes as the dead arise

conserve your ammunition lighten the load
drive really fast and cover the road
cover the road
lighten the load and cover the road

single minded killers they just wanna feed
keep on running if we don't wanna bleed
they just wanna feed
they just wanna feed and we don't wanna bleed

pile up the bodies retreat behind the walls
sentry guns firing as they stumble and fall
stumble and fall
retreat behind the walls as they stumble and fall

the problem with zombies they continue to come
til your back's against the door and there's nowhere to run
there's nowhere to run
they continue to come and there's nowhere to run

generations killed by a habit called healthy
addiction working, patient and stealthy
stub out a butt stub out the fear
always healing but less each year

giving you nothing but what it takes away
the last thing you see at the end of the day
smoking while watching the dying light
of someone else losing the cancer fight

want it and want it and nobody knows
what its like when that monster grows
one single puff and the need goes away
but then it comes back and again you pay

quit for three weeks and you're over it
a drink and a puff and a coughing fit
tragedy strikes, you smoke for a bit
next thing you know, you're back in the pit

stroke your fingers along my cheek
see me cowering longing and meek
look in my eyes and tell me you care
see the hope that's blossoming there

chorus:
cross my heart and hope to live
i have so much love to give
this beautiful heart so fragile and rare
look in my eyes and tell me you care


broken hearts litter the past
if experience teaches i'm the head of the class
trying to capture in silly rhymes
silence on the line and awful times

chorus

squeeze me close and hold me tight
tell me that we'll never fight
run your fingers through my hair
and tell me that you really care

chorus

tickle and play growl and cuddle
backrubs that leave us in a silken puddle
push me away if you think you must
someday we'll find that deeper trust

i wish he'd grow up faster
i want to hear his throaty laughter
when he talks about his first girlfriend
if he likes boys i want to know about the toys
i want to hear about the letters that he sends
i want to help him with his algebra
and teach him how to undo a bra
maybe calculus will be too hard
maybe sacking groceries will get him fired
maybe my life will finally have some meaning
when i can poke a hole right through his preening
big blue eyes and a shining smile
me me me and maybe just for a while
me and me and me again
until he's ten
eventually he'll find that he doesn't mind
some worldly advice and a steady hand
and then i hope he'll be satisfied
when he discovers that everything that i've uncovered
is pretty stupid, and silly shit
and the worldly advice and witty bit
were someone else entirely
i wish he'd grow up faster
i want to hear his throaty laughter
when he talks about his first lover
now and then, sometime and when

words have brutal power
before them we should cower
they can cut like a knife
cause infinite strife
just reading these
puts you on your knees
prostrate before me
bowed and trusting
what bitter twisted evil memes
could reside all in your dreams
be glad this day i only play
watch who you let inside your mind
hope that they are pleasant and kind
choose wisely what you'll hear
and always fear, always fear
before them you should cower
in case they're words of brutal power