May. 26th, 2009

messyah: (Default)
there is love in the world (reinforced)

i have an emotional engine which is fairly well tuned to judge others feelings, but right behavior involves recovering well from mistakes due to misintention and inattention and lack of knowledge.

right behavior requires a constant practice of "assumption of good intention" as well as a *deep* introspection on how someone's history could have lead them to their bad behavior or outcomes. (reinforced)

i can love people in a brotherly way (reinforced)

i will strive to be open to new friendships, and seek them out.

i will strive to reinforce existing relationships that bring me joy and seek without pressure to repair those that seem fearful

i want to understand that "picking on" people is a form of potential violence that is more harmful than helpful, even when wielded well. there are more authentic ways to relate to people. i want to understand that i both enjoy picking on people, and think that there are people in the world who can only relate to people who can both give and receive a solid burn. i seek to reconcile the contradiction in these 2 positions, but recognize that i will really continue to let my emotion engine drive the day to day, and practice centering myself so that my subconscious and emotion-engine can spend time wooling with my logic to drive right behaviour.

being a good human means spending a lot of time trying to reconcile the emotional and logical sides. spock was easily the most human character of the show, although the least able to openly express the workings of his emotional engine.

we really are human. (thank you, julie)
loving, hurting, pissing, shitting, burping, farting, orgasms, arousal, jealousy, rage, annoyance, you name it. we all do it. we do it behind closed doors, and we think that no one else has any right or necessity to see it or hear it, but the more we recognize that humans are gross, the easier it is to realize just how beautiful they are.

we all bear scars, and most of them aren't even remotely close to the surface. i know a few people who have cut themselves at some point, and after this weekend, i finally realized that they were strong enough to bear their scars where the world can see that they have hurt. many people have no idea what despair i've seen, but many people understand that you can be poor as dirt or well-trained to create wealth, and still not have quite the right emotional equipment for enduring peace and joy.

there is love in the world (reinforced tenfold)

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